Gil's Gossip

Gilbert Arenas is notorious for his fan-friendly jersey tossing and charity auctions. He's also at the forefront of the athlete blogosphere. Looks like that's where he spent much of his time this summer while recovering from knee surgery. Here are some of Agent Zero's latest musings.

The Adventures of Chuck & Larry: If you haven't heard, Gilbert and the rest of the Wizards decided to dub baby-faced rookies Nick Young and Dominic McGuire, Chuck and Larry, after that very mediocre looking Adam Sandler/Kevin James movie. Still not sure which is which, but either way, Agent Zero is having his way with the younguns.

"So I was sitting in my house playing Halo and I'm looking at my surveillance camera and I see Dominic and Nick creep up to my property all decked out. They parked across the street and they're running towards my house wearing masks and helmets. They came around the side of the house, jumped the wall, and came in through the garage. But by the time they did all that, I already was out of the house and jumped the other wall. They were in the house looking for me and I was across the street flattening their tires so when they decided to leave they'd be on flats. They looked around the house and couldn't find me so they came outside and saw me across the street flattening their tires. I called my friend and had him come pick me up and take me back to the house.
"When they left the house, they stole my daddy's toaster! I like making toast! So I told them, Since you don't want to give my toaster back, it's war. He wanted his stuff back, I wanted my stuff back so I told them that we were going to have a paintball shootout."

Having Trouble with the Ladies? Take a Tip from Gil: "I think all men should [go on strike] when they have a disagreement. This is Relationship 101. When you have a fight with 'the other,' don't answer their calls and don't answer their pages. That usually gets the point across that you're not talking to them. So, I held out for seven days. I went on strike for seven days and stayed at the gym for seven days. I slept in the gym. They got nice couches in there and it just kept me in the gym working on my knee and stuff."

Animated Arenas: What do you get when you take Agent Zero and throw him into the world of animation? Gazo the Pranksta. Don't even get me started, just check it out.

For everything Gilbert and more on each of these stories, visit Agent Zero's blog: http://www.nba.com/blog/gilbert_arenas.html

- The Tar Heel